The Gay Agenda is back to raise funds for the relief effort in Puerto Rico. Have a dream you want me to interpret, with my very specific spin? Send $25 via Paypal to, and then send the details of your dream in an email. Please include your name, as you'd like it to appear on the site when my very gay interpretation of your dream is posted. 100% of the proceeds will go to Hurricane Maria relief efforts in Puerto Rico. Prefer Venmo? You can send your donation that way, too. My Venmo username is Lana-Nieves.
Don't like Paypal OR Venmo, but still want to get in on this? Donate to the relief effort on your own and show me a receipt for a donation of $25 or more, and I'm down to interpret your dream. The only thing that matters to me is raising money for the relief effort in Puerto Rico, which continues.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Off With Its Head!

Tawny Segrestein, of Brooklyn, New York writes:

"I had a dream a bedbug bit me but it was big and long. I killed it and cut its head off. I had it in a piece of paper and looked up what it was in hopes it might not be one. When I threw it in the toilet another huge bedbug came off the paper to eat the dead one. Then a black snake came out of the toilet to eat them both.

Now I don't want to go in the bathroom."

Tawny, the bed bugs in your dream represent penises. Big and long and, really, just such a nuisance! At least that's true if you're a lesbian, which you obviously are. They creep up on you and, like bed bugs, invade your life and your living space. They suck the life out of you just as surely as bed bugs suck the blood from under your skin. Getting rid of bed bugs can be a big job. Getting rid of unwanted penis is no small order, either. 

Your dream is about how trapped and cornered you feel about living in a heterosexual patriarchy...just the way thousands of Brooklynites are trapped in bed-bug-infested apartments, with little or no recourse. Your killing of the first bed bug (cutting off its head, no less!) is your subconscious mind expressing your desire to cut sexual attention from males right off, at the source. 

The fact that there always seem to be more bed bugs in your dream scenario, and that they feast on one another is telling: you're not just dreaming about penises, you're dreaming about cannibalistic penises. Your deep-seated anger at all things male has manifested itself in the form of a dream in which you say, in effect, "Go fuck yourself" to everyone with XY chromosomes. 

You are one angry lesbian.