The Gay Agenda is back to raise funds for the relief effort in Puerto Rico. Have a dream you want me to interpret, with my very specific spin? Send $25 via Paypal to, and then send the details of your dream in an email. Please include your name, as you'd like it to appear on the site when my very gay interpretation of your dream is posted. 100% of the proceeds will go to Hurricane Maria relief efforts in Puerto Rico. Prefer Venmo? You can send your donation that way, too. My Venmo username is Lana-Nieves.
Don't like Paypal OR Venmo, but still want to get in on this? Donate to the relief effort on your own and show me a receipt for a donation of $25 or more, and I'm down to interpret your dream. The only thing that matters to me is raising money for the relief effort in Puerto Rico, which continues.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Lesbian on the Halfshell

Gina T. of NJ writes:

So, last night I had a very brief sex dream. I was in a very gaudy hotel room with an old high school friend of mine. We never dated or anything. I didn't like him like that. But anyway, it was one of those moments of nothing said but understood we were gonna do it. He was in bed already, and I went to turn the light off. By the time I got into bed with him, he was ready to go and all over me. I said something along the lines of "can't we work up to it a little?" And his response was something along the lines of "well, you'll have to keep me excited then." When I finally gave him the okay, it was intense but brief. Like BRIEF. Then, I woke up. LOL And the weirdest thing was I could actually smell him in my dream. Not that he had bad odor, but he had a smell like everyone does. And I remember his. And I could smell it so vividly. So very odd.

How's that?

Gina, your dream is about you grappling with the myth that lesbians are frigid man-haters, and trying to reconcile your true sexual orientation with the genuine affection you feel towards males. You find yourself about to have intercourse with a man who you know in real life, and care about as a friend, but who you've never dated or had sexual feelings for. In the dream, he's very much into the idea of banging away, but you require coaxing because this is not where you're inclined to take this relationship.  There's nothing odd or unusual about someone agreeing to have sex with their partner when they're less than eager at that moment in time. In fact, most sexually active people do this from time to time to accommodate the sexual needs of a partner. So, having sex when you're not exactly in the mood, and having to "work up to it" are perfectly normal, once in a while. What's NOT normal - or emotionally healthy - is having sex when you don't want to, with someone you don't really want to knock boots with, EVER.  Sure, a person CAN do this, but "can" and "should" are two very different words. 

You're a lesbian, Gina, but you're confused because, like lots of lesbians,  you like men.  In fact, you can, when worked up to it and coaxed, even achieve brief moments of physical pleasure with them. Let me share a little secret with you: orgasms are a mechanical function of the human body. Most women can achieve intense orgasms with a Pocket Rocket, too, but no one wants to marry one. If you were hungry, would you choose a bowl full of unflavored gelatine, or a Filet Mignon and baked potato smothered in butter and sour cream from Peter Luger's?  There's a difference between filling your belly and satisfying your true desires.  Sometimes it's not a juicy bratwurst, but a plate of bearded oysters that hits the spot.

Listen to what your dream is saying: for you, anything more than friendship with men stinks to high hell. Because you're gay.