Meat Is Murder

Amy Timlin, of PA, who made a generous donation to the relief effort in Puerto Rico, writes:

I had a dream an old friend and I got together at Ruth's Chris and caught up after a long time. It was really quite lovely. We promised to keep in touch. When I got home, there was a salt shaker, two forks, a full sized dinner plate, three napkins and a menu inside my small purse. WTF? How did she do that? Like fucking Houdini. What does it mean?

This is so gay.

You dreamt about going to a great steak house with a female friend, but there's no mention of meat. If anything, your subconscious mind left its virtual visit to Ruth's Chris not only disinterested in beef, but amazed that a female has managed to fill your purse in a way it's never been full, before. The purse, of course, represents your vagina, which has suddenly received attention from an unexpected source. The loot your female friend has placed in the purse is also meaningful: The menu represents your subconscious belief that sex with a woman would offer you choices, as opposed to the pre-packaged, predictable TV dinner that sex with men has been. Salt is a seasoning used to keep food from tasting bland and boring. The salt which has been symbolically planted in your "purse," is much the same - it represents the fact that you know, in your heart, that sex with men is flavorless and dull, while sex with women offers that flavorful, salty zing you crave. The dinner plate is not just ANY dinner plate, but a "full-sized" dinner plate, from which you may truly feast, as opposed to the miniature, portion-controlled servings you've been settling for when having sex with men. Each of the two forks has its own meaning. The first is just an ordinary fork - it's your desire to explore intimacy with women saying to you, "There's a setting at the Sapphic table for you:dig in."  The second fork is a visual metaphor - and a pretty crappy bit of dreamworld wordplay, if I'm going to be completely honest - for the sexual fork in the road at which you find yourself. 

You compare the agility with which your female friend has carried out the feat of somehow capturing your purse and having her way with it, with the skill of Houdini. Houdini, if you recall, was an escape artist. This dream is about escaping from a life that offers small portions of bland, tasteless meat, in favor of something more nourishing and delicious. Whether or not you veer left at the fork in the road is up to you, but life is supposed to be a banquet, not an exercise in self-denial.