Emotional Baggage Check

Gina L. of Boston, MA. writes:

I have this dream, or variations of it quite often. I'm in an airport, usually O'Hare, and something has gone wrong with my ticket. I repeatedly try to call home but can't dial the number properly, nor can I get an operator's assistant. I storm off to the news stand and buy a bunch of magazines. The titles vary, but there's one constant: The New Republic. What does this mean?

An airport is a place we find ourselves when we are headed somewhere. Your dream places you at an airport to illustrate that you are trying to move forward - but you're immobilized, because "something has gone wrong with your ticket." This is your subconscious telling you that the path you've always believed has been right for you is, in fact, very WRONG for you. Your attempted - and failed - efforts to call home for assistance represent your efforts to rely on the tried and true. In this case, the tried and true would be heterosexual relationships with men, which you can no longer access because you can't seem to dial the number properly due to an inability to work the phone: you don't even know what to do with the telephone, just as you don't really know what to do with male genitalia.  You're even unable to get an operator's assistance. This represents your many efforts to find the right man to make things work, and your failure in these efforts. Your second and final course of action is getting a bunch of magazines, which represents your efforts to intellectualize your sexual identity dilemna, but being a lesbian is nothing you can read your way out of, Gina.  Deep down, you know this to be true, which is why the one constant in this recurring dream is The New Republic. You thought it referred to the magazine, didn't you? It's actually a reference to Star Wars and the triumph of good (Lesbian) over evil (Breeder.)

You're a lesbian. Why else would you dream about being at an airport named after Butch O'Hare?

A Stern Lesson

Kristine P.A. of Los Angeles, CA writes:

Back when Howard Stern's radio show first became a TV show, too, I had a dream about him. I dreamed that he was performing oral sex on me while while having intercourse with me at the same time. I wondered if he was double jointed. I wasn't even a Howard Stern fan!

In your dream you're somewhat surprised to find yourself in an intimate situation with a a famous personality to whom you didn't even realize you were attracted.  This represents your latent attraction to women, and the fact that you've hidden this attraction, even from yourself. You've lived as a heterosexual woman, but your subconscious knows better. The intimacy, itself, is also telling. Howard's ability to pleasure you simultaneously with his mouth and his penis isn't about him, at all, but about you: in your dream you're having it both ways because, in your waking life, you want to have your cake and eat it, too. Because you're bisexual.

She's No Lady!

Bernard b. of Albuquerque, NM writes:

Dear Gay Agenda,
I am a 38 year old heterosexual male liberal Puerto Rican who has dreamt of Ann Coulter on numerous occasions. And the strange thing(s) is(are) that she is totally the Ann Coulter we know, but in my dreams she's incredibly warm and nurturing, and we have positively fabulous times together.

I've smoked enough cigars to know that any dream someone like me should have of an authoritarian, Amazonian rightwingotrix like Ms. Coulter should be absogoddamnlutely replete with S&M. But the thing is, though in these dreams (and there have been many), while we are clearly and comfortably partners, the emphasis is on a very sweet domesticity. 

What the fuck, Gay Agenda?

Yours,
- Bb

Bernard, your dream is quite simple. You've dreamt about having a relationship with the most repulsive person you can think of.  In real life, Ann Coulter is not only unattractive, but repugnant in every way.  In your recurrent dreams, you're surprised to find that the very person you would expect find least attractive is, in fact, not only someone you end up with, but someone whose company you enjoy, and enjoy a great deal....and even find "sweet." Your subconscious is telling you that, just because you've told yourself the same story for a lifetime - that you're a heterosexual man who is not attracted to other men - the fact is, you are, in fact, drawn to and desire that which you would never expect to: MAN MEAT. Because you're, in fact, gay.

Bag of Tricks

Robert S. of Garland, Texas writes:

Last night's dream: I arrived at a school for a a night class in some technical course. I knew other students who were there. Apparently it was the last class, and I had to gather up lots of knick-knacks I had left at my work table over the course, and placed them in my knapsack along with my laptop. I left the room, but ended up returning to the classroom where the teacher was showing slides to those who remained; the slides were basically of the class over the run of the class course. I discovered my knapsack had been stolen while I watched the slides. Upset and knowing I'd probably never find the knapsack, I tried to leave the school building, which seemed impossible to get out of.

The knapsack represents a vagina, and the things inside of it represent your history and items from past: the odds and ends from a class that's finished and your laptop, which is your memory.

The technical course you've been taking at night is the journey of sexual discovery you've undertaken almost in secret (hence this being night school..or under cover of the night.) In the dream, you get to a place of learning (learning about yourself) and find that the items from your past and your history have disappeared. They are no longer relevant, because this is the "last class" and you've learned all you need to know about yourself- That you're gay.

The pieces of your past, which are tied up in your misguided attempts at sexual relationships with women (the knapsack/vagina) are gone forever.  Although you don't need to pursue women or wear the face of someone who does, since you're actually gay, you clearly haven't fully accepted this, which is why you're upset in the dream about knowing you can never have the knapsack/vagina back.

However, it's also a hopeful dream, because you find it impossible to leave the school building. This is your subconscious showing you that, no matter what you may be feeling, your inner core is strong will never let you lose your True Wisdom - that you're a gay man. 

Super Friends

Jim C. of Edmonton,  a gay man from Canada writes:

Ok, epic dream. Literally. Looking back, it was a combination of Lost, Once Upon a Time, X-Men, Game of Thrones, and Cloud Atlas. I am more a watcher than a participant. A group of young friends are living in rundown houses in the woods. Something than I don't remember happens, and one by one that start to get special powers. Some of them are are of the changes, some are not. There is a sense that some of them are becoming evil. The world changes around them, into a mythical land. There are remnants of ancient structures around them. I realize that if they touch these structures, changes will happen. Some may die, some may become good in the future, some will become bad, some will receive powers that will unveil themselves in the future. A friend that I know IRL stumbles off the path and his back hits the wall of a structure. Another friend that I know helps him to his feet, touching him while the first friend is still touching the wall. I know that they will both receive powers, but the helpful friend's won't be as strong since he didn't touch the structure directly. We are back in one of the houses. One person has received the power to influence objects, but doesn't realize it yet. He comes into the room with the others, saying that he's won the lottery. The house has changed to an opulent old house. No one is aware that the house has changed. As far as they are aware, they have always lived together in the house. They are all rich now. I hear a news report on the radio about the lottery win, because the winning number contained letters as well as numbers, like a code. No else seems to have heard the radio. Things start to change in the house, a little at a time. There is a special delivery. It is boxes and boxes of different volumes of The Game of Thrones, each one telling different aspects of the stories from different characters perspectives. The boxes are dumped open. Each book is a specific different volume, and friends grab individual book. I grab one, and realize that it tells the story as I am seeing it in my dream. The friends have some 'normal' people in for a dinner party. I realize that this is a bad thing, that these people are in danger for their lives. The friends are still not aware that they have been altered, and that their actions are now reflecting their evil intent. The normal people are mingling at the party. Objects in the room from the mythical land appear. Tables, chairs, bottles, etc. outside on the patio, there are now scattered chairs and tables, as well as a throne in the corner. I know that if anyone sits in the chair, they will be killed. My real life friend is joking around the throne and starts to sit in it. Instead of dying, he is propelled from the chair. Inside the house, I sit on a couch with two of the friends. An Irish Setter-like dog sits next to me on the couch. This dog has a connection to the ancient world, and can speak, but no one else realizes this yet. It speaks, but it appears that only I can understand it. It says nothing of any real importance. Then, while everyone is out of the room, some of the normal people think they'll help out my tidying things up. One of them takes the magical bottles and cleans the dirt off of them so they sparkle like new. I know that this is bad, because this is the dirt of ancient world and is the only connection to the ancient land that they have. The friends are enraged. I also see that a silver spoon has been thrown away accidentally. One of the friends is frantically looking for it. I realize, but she does not, that the spoon is required for her powers to reach their full effect. When she tears through the garbage can, I see the spoon fall out behind some furniture, but no one else sees it. Suddenly, the surroundings have changed to a very modern luxury condo. Again, no one else is aware of the change. As far as they are concerned, they have always lived here. Slowing, a few at a time, flying buildings start to go past the windows in the the condo. More and more of them appear, displaying advertising on their exterior walls until the view is filled with these advertising-covered flying buildings. A different real life friend turns to me and says that there's too much advertising these days. Suddenly, we are outside on the street, which is a series of stairs, ramps and bridges. Up from one of the stairs comes careening an orange car. It is driven by my friend who was thrown from the throne. He has gone mad. He drives through the crowd. I see that he has hit a pedestrian, and his right leg had been severed cleanly above the knee. He holds up his stump at an angle, in pain. I see the blood spurt out across the street, where it hits the top of some bridge supports. When it touches them, the supports start to melt and the bridge collapses, like it was made of rubber. There is a huge pile of debris. One of the female 'super friends' leans on the debris, and the roadway is magically flattened. The supporting archway on one side remains standing. Her boyfriend tells her that she should go tell the mayor. She smiles knowingly at him, turns, and starts walking away along the beam of the archway. It flattens out as she walks along it. Her boyfriend thinks that the beam must be made of some kind of soft material now, and tries to pull out a rivet. He is unable to, of course. I watch her walk away on the beam, an see it flattening ahead of her in a spray of sparks and fire. The theme from Lawrence of Arabia is heard. Interpret away, Lana. And yes, Lena Headey was one of the super friends. A baddie.

First of all, I love that Lena Headey made an appearance in your dream. She is welcome to inhabit my dreams on any night of the week.

This dream is about a number of ideas; the sheer power of sexuality and sexual identity is chief among them. Just as some of your friends have no idea that they have or will gain super powers, or that small, seemingly insignificant things (such as a spoon) are connected to having power, your subconscious mind is telling you that a person's very identity is not just something he lives with, but a form of power.  Your friend who sits on the throne (he's a real QUEEN, that guy) isn't killed, as you expect, but thrust up and forward with a burst of energy by the throne, itself. This friend eventually goes "mad." In casual English, we use the word "mad" when what we mean in "angry." This friend and his "madness' actually represent your anger at the fact that an ever-changing world still feels threatened by your homosexuality, which is actually your source of power. 

The magical bottles that make people sparkle like new actually wash away all remnants of where they came from and where they've been. This is seen as a negative thing in the dream. It represents your resentment at the efforts some homosexuals make to fit in in a predominantly heterosexual world.  In your mind, Jim, too much effort has been made to sanitize homosexuality and make it more palatable to the masses, instead of the masses making the move to accept that there's great value in diversity in how people identify, sexually. It may have looked like dirt and soot that was washed off of your friends, but it was actually the stuff of who they really are: and they don't want to be magically clean and homogenous, because they embrace their histories and the things that make them different from others. 

Your friend complaining about how there's so much advertising is a reference to how homosexuality has become something that is used as a gimmick - on tv shows, in the press, in music videos and pop songs, etc. It's a watering down and cheapening of something you hold sacred; your sexual identity...the way advertisements water down and cheapen the idea of family love to sell greeting cards or lemonade. 

The stairs and ramps represent all the obstacles that you, as a homosexual, see before you every day, in a world where you're the "other." It's one of your friends, though, who manages to overcome these obstacles and 'flatten them out" - because she has acquired super powers. Again, her super power is really not a super power, at all, but the fact that she's embraced her true self. It's only when she walks away from her boyfriend (with a knowing smile) and towards something else. Because she's a lesbian. The boyfriend's pathetic efforts to pull out a rivet from the road, because he assumes it's pliable points to the fact that, no matter how hard he tries, he can't change something that is set in stone and NOT PLIABLE:  the woman he's in love with is actually a lesbian. 

This dream is very complicated and covers a lot of ground, mostly about your feeling about how the world views you and homosexuals, in general. Also, you should tell your real life friend that she's a lesbian. She and her boyfriend really have a right to know. 

Oh, and Lena Headey is in your dream because - as much as I love her - she's a perfect example of Hollywood trying to make homosexuality more palatable to a heterosexual audience by casting a very beautiful, femme, heterosexual actress in big screen girl-on-girl movies.  That's why she's a baddie in the dream.

I think the Lawrence of Arabia soundtrack is just incidental, and every gay man knows that Peter O'Toole was beautiful in that role.

More Than Meets The Eye

Elizabeth M., of Chicago Illinois writes:

Okay, last night I dreamed my boyfriend was an Autobot and I was cool with it, because humanity needed a robot-human hybrid. 

In your dream, your partner - a male - is a character from Transformers. Transformers, of course, change from one thing to another: a robot, turns into a car. This signifies your subconcious knowledge of your real-life boyfriend's desire to be something completely different from what he is, now. In your dream, you're "cool with it" because you see your odd coupling as achieving something the world needs.

This dream is revealing about both you and your boyfriend. He's clearly been giving out subliminal messages to you during your waking hours - and his message becomes loud and clear to you only in your dream state. That message is simple: he's a woman trapped in a man's body, and he's ready to change.  Your boyfriend is transgender.

You're not only ready to accept it but you see the whole business of your boyfriend switching genders as the best thing that could happen for everyone. Because you're a lesbian.

DUH

Mae P. of Atlantic City, NJ writes:

I was sleeping with my old creepy boss (a male) and while grossed out, I was still doing it. Interpretation?

Does this dream even need interpretation? It's a dream about how you continue to have sex with men, even though the entire process is repugnant to you. Because you'd rather have sex with women. Because you're really a lesbian.