The Gay Agenda is back to raise morale during the COVID-19 Pandemic. Have a dream you want me to interpret, with my very specific spin? Send it to telpher@gmail.com, with the words "The Gay Agenda" in the subject field.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

She's No Lady!

Bernard b. of Albuquerque, NM writes:


Dear Gay Agenda,
I am a 38 year old heterosexual male liberal Puerto Rican who has dreamt of Ann Coulter on numerous occasions. And the strange thing(s) is(are) that she is totally the Ann Coulter we know, but in my dreams she's incredibly warm and nurturing, and we have positively fabulous times together.

I've smoked enough cigars to know that any dream someone like me should have of an authoritarian, Amazonian rightwingotrix like Ms. Coulter should be absogoddamnlutely replete with S&M. But the thing is, though in these dreams (and there have been many), while we are clearly and comfortably partners, the emphasis is on a very sweet domesticity. 

What the fuck, Gay Agenda?

Yours,
- Bb


Bernard, your dream is quite simple. You've dreamt about having a relationship with the most repulsive person you can think of.  In real life, Ann Coulter is not only unattractive, but repugnant in every way.  In your recurrent dreams, you're surprised to find that the very person you would expect find least attractive is, in fact, not only someone you end up with, but someone whose company you enjoy, and enjoy a great deal....and even find "sweet." Your subconscious is telling you that, just because you've told yourself the same story for a lifetime - that you're a heterosexual man who is not attracted to other men - the fact is, you are, in fact, drawn to and desire that which you would never expect to: MAN MEAT. Because you're, in fact, gay.

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