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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Does this come in a size 5?

Melissa B., currently of Middle America, writes:

Dear Gay Agenda,

I have a recurring theme in many of my dreams: I need a new outfit and there is a store I want to go to to buy it, but I can't access the store. I can't remember how to get there or it is closed or there is some other thing impeding my desire to shop. This store has super cute clothes and good prices. what does this mean?

As the saying goes, "clothes make the man." In this case, clothes make the woman. What we wear on the outside is often a window into what we are on the inside. Your dream is about your desire to dress up in a way that you find most pleasing, and which suits you in every way. You're tired of the old suit of clothes you've been wearing and you "need a new outfit." You can only do this by shopping at the right store - the one with the cute clothes and the good prices. This dream is about your subconscious need to do away with the tired, old suit of heterosexuality you've been wearing for so long: it's old and tattered and, let's be honest, it makes your ass look huge! You're ready for an outfit that reflects who your are and accentuates your lesbian attributes. Every time you try to get to the right store - the magical Sapphic shop, if you will - something gets in your way. What is this something, Melissa? I suspect it's the false persona you've created for the world - the persona of a "normal," heterosexual woman. That's not a clever ensemble, girl - it's a straitjacket, with a chastity belt built right in. You're a lesbian: start dressing like one.

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