Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Baby, It's Cold Out There
Cappy Sue, of America's Heartland, writes:
Hey Lana, here is how the dream went.
We had all gathered at a reunion of high school people but there was another celebration going on of people who all worked for the same company. The place was a ski resort so everything was happening in the snow.
Your dream is long and complicated, so I will interpret different elements of it, one at a time. That it takes place in the winter, at a ski resort, carries two meanings. The first is that you're visiting a cold, desolate part of your psyche, one which has been in hibernation, so to speak. Also, snow is pure and clean - especially at a ski resort, where fresh snow falls every night. This is you visiting a part of yourself that has been uninvited, before, and lay dormant, until now: your latent homosexuality.
There was a horrible scream and when we ran out to see what was happening there was blood all over the snow and a man was lying there with his face mostly lobbed off. He was near dead barely, moving. His face though was still animated and rubbery trying to move and talk on the ground.
This part of your dream is about trauma - the trauma of your awakening to your surroundings. The blood this man has shed covers the once-pure snow: this is your subconscious telling you that this pure, untouched part of your psyche is no longer untouched. you're visiting it in your dream and, what has been seen, cannot be unseen. This may seem scary, but it's ultimately a good thing. Seeing for the first time is hard - it may even hurt - but it means you're not blind to your true self, anymore. While you see this man as being nearly dead, the fact is, he's just coming alive. Wake up, Cappy: you're a lesbian, and there's no turning back.
I had a little girl with me and she was mine which is weird in real life I have no kids. She was three I never saw her face but she slept across my shoulder the entire time and she was sick. A doctor tried to help but said we would just have to wait for it to pass because it was the flu.
You think of yourself as childless but the fact is, your inner child is with you always, and this dream is all about that inner child. The child you carry with you always? She's just another manifestation of the man who has come to life in the snow. This section of the dream if where you're trying to address what you see about your real self as being unhealthy. Your inner child is a Babydyke, and there's not a damned thing wrong with that. Get over it!
The first time when the guy got mutilated he had been kind of sketchy and the theory being floated around was it was done by a jealous romantic interest. Then two more bodies showed up one girl was still alive but never saw her attacker. She was missing her nose and most of her mouth. The other was a woman who was missing her face from the eyeballs up and most of her hair. Her eye balls were looking around on the ground at us.
The mutilated guy, who we've already established represents your latent lesbian tendencies, has been hurt by a woman he loved, but it was an unhealthy love. This is so gay, it's not funny. You've clearly been crossed by a woman. In fact, this portion of your dreams reveals that the object of your affection has left behind a whole string of unhealthy relationships with women: and this haunts you. It happens. It doesn't mean you have to spend your whole life pretending you love men! Why are these bodies missing crucial parts of their faces? Because you know, deep, down inside, that until you admit you're gay, you're incomplete.
A few more got hit and one was a boy. What made us suspect him was that his parts were not moving when cut off. When we checked him we found the knife that matched with those kinds of cuts covered in blood in his coat pocket. He then admitted he had sliced the side of his own face off as well to avoid detection. A couple of the people who had loss loved ones to his stuff started beating him but we ended up putting him in a cabin that I think was for storage as it had barred windows and stuff I guess to keep bears out.
You've attributed all sorts of problems in your life to your inherent homosexuality, and decided to lock this part of yourself away. But is it really for safe keeping (storage) or as punishment? It seems clear to me that this locking up is punitive: you're punishing yourself by not being the lesbian we both know you to be.
The place got hit with more snow so we all battened down the hatches and stayed in the inn for a couple of days. It was horrible seeing the infections starting and what not on the faces of the couple of the people who were still alive. Then I saw a person I knew and she was humming a song and holding her face. It seemed he had started to cut her but then heard the song and stopped and she had just now stopped cowering and come out of the room she had been in for the past two days.
More snow means you're clearly afraid that you're heading on path that means only more desolation and isolation. And this is not healthy. Infections grow and fester unless we treat them. The more you cover up an infected wound, the more opportunities bacteria have to thrive. This part of your dream points directly to your desire to stop this suppression of your sexuality and "come out of the room" you've been hiding in for so long. Come play with us, Cappy Sue, forever and ever!
This is when his mother said she wanted to put him down as there was no hope he would ever be anything but a vicious killer. Arguments started on both sides but in general they all said no we wait for the cops. Well I disagreed and agreed to help her.
I don't think the mother in this dream represents your real mother. It is more of an inner, evil, self-loathing voice with which you're involved in an ongoing dialogue. You're second-guessing yourself, convincing yourself that being gay is wrong and that this part of yourself should be "put down." Don't do it, Cappy! Fly your freak flag with pride!
I left my little girl sitting with my friend coloring while we went out to kill this woman's son. She climbed up on the roof of the cabin he was in. I went to the front and started laughing as loud and obnoxious as I could muster through the window pressing my face to it and just enraging him. He had said when we locked him up that he did not like the way the faces looked when the laughed and that was why he cut them up. Any how then I worked off a few bars and broke the glass really freaking him out and getting him into a frenzy. The idea he would get so enraged he would just come right at me making it easier to kill him. I broke the chain off the door and ran back a few feet and he came out just as planned. His mother jumped off the roof onto him grabbed his head and pulled it back and I slit his throat. I woke up just when I felt his blood hit my face.
This is a terrifying ending to a dream, because it's all about you abandoning your inner, lesbian child, and taking steps to kill your true self. And it's a bloody murder, indeed! But, here's the thing, Cappy: while you may have cut this fellow's throat, you've also broken through the bars of his prison. He's free! And you know who he is: your lesbian alter-ego. This carpet-munching cat is out of the bag, and there's no turning back.
Not only are you a lesbian, but this dream is really crazy. Crazy lesbians do really, really well out there, so you'll be fine. In fact, supposedly sane lesbians will fight tooth and nail to date a woman as nutty as you are. You'll probably end up being the next Ellen Degeneres.